Churchill’s Cafe, Shrewsbury
I seem to have inadvertently started a new thing. Another new eating and writing project that I'll never finish. It’s a little side hustle born out of circumstance. Child and wife free Saturday mornings! The perfect chance to catch up on admin or sort the household chores oooooor, as any self respecting Dad with limited spare time would choose, the chance to explore all of Shrewsbury’s cafes in search of the perfect fry up! A search that I think I already know the answer to but if I don’t validate and confirm my suspicions I will be spending my Saturday mornings vacuuming! I won’t go down without a fight!
I’m keen to point out that this project is about doing away with my middle class privilege. I’m searching caff’s not cafes (there’s a great instagram page doing just that - go check them out). I’m doing away with beanies, tattoos, oversized t-shirts, 90s caps and boot cut jeans (I will have to actually chuck most of my wardrobe away). I don’t want to see any of the 5000 interpretations of ‘eggs benny’. I want proper old school breakfasts, unapologetic and focussed on the all important comfort! I want these breakfasts to be silver tea pot situations (great band name). I want wipe clean PVC gingham table cloths, laminated menus using 90s 3D coloured word art, condiments on the tables and a sense of hope in the air. People starting their day off ‘the right way’.....
I have a dining partner this week which is always exciting. Food is always better shared, even terrible food, so it’s always a win. This date happens to be a 2 year old, our friends have gone to have a very important and much needed parental day off for reconnection and fun. So it’s Uncle Stevie’s day of fun! I thought I would start the day off right, with a fry up and a place I had been keen to try. Lot’s of high praise and great reviews for this breakfast! It’s also a little off the beaten track and has all sorts of ‘Hidden Gem Potential’ (Silver Tea Pot Situations’ 2nd album); Churchill’s, down by the bus station!
It’s an unassuming kind of place. You kind of have to know it’s there but it’s also really accessible from town, just down the hill by The Alb. When you walk in there is an instant sense that I have found the kind of place I am looking for in this Hungry Guy side project. Pink, purple and blue gingham table cloths, desktop printed laminated menus littered with 90s word art, some of the ink leaching slightly in places, and a clean, tidy and organised decor that likely hasn’t changed much in 30 years - this is proper caff gold! My heart sunk slightly when I realised the table cloths were fabric and not wipe clean plastic. There were a few very faint tea and baked bean stains adorning said table cloths. The unavoidable scars of previous breakfast battles and a stark reminder to make sure you take care when shoveling beans into your gob. Also a great validation for wipe clean table cloths! I took a brief moment of silence to think about the sheer disappointment these previous punters must have felt with their breakfasts, along with the hopes for their day slowly absorbing into the gingham fabric!
The welcome was lovely! Very attentive staff who went above and beyond, rummaging in their store rooms down stairs to find the high chair, they ‘definitely had’ - they did have one and it made my life considerably easier so a huge thank you for that effort.
The cafe is part of a members club, The Beaconsfield. I have no idea what happens in these sorts of clubs. Not sure why but I’ve never been invited to one! It’s actually a Conservative Club, despite the name of the cafe, I hadn’t actually realised. I’ve never been to a Conservative Club, not sure what I was expecting, maybe big blue rosettes and Tory paraphernalia all over the walls, busts of John Major on the counters and Tony Blair themed toilet roll? In reality, I wouldn't have had a clue I was in a Conservative stronghold and really, I’m not sure that it matters!
I do feel like they missed a trick by not delving deeper into the political theme in this place. Almost Spitting Image esque! Similar to the cafe chain Poppin’s in the 80s/90s; they had a Spaceman Breakfast or maybe The Cowboy Breakfast to choose from; Churchill’s could serve a Cameron Platter (based on a Fromage De Tete) or the Blair Breakfast (don’t expect to find the weapons of mass destruction as promised on the menu) . Maybe a choice between the overly generous ‘Belly Buster’ British Empire Breakfast or for the smaller appetite, The ‘Economy Buster’ Austerity Breakfast - bacon rind, egg shells and some breadcrumbs! The ‘Liz Truss Flash In The Pan’ menu will cover all your small plate needs, a selection of small, express and quick dishes that cost you an absolute fortune. And all laced with regret that you will want to forget ever happened!
I’ll order the Brexit & Eggs, thank you! I’ll have my eggs ‘Thatchered’ with a big bowl of Corbyn Flakes and a large glass of River Water Sludge Milkshake!
That’s the last of my political mentions, I promise!
The actual menu has just about everything you would want from a good old British caff. The usual ‘on toast’ suspects with the closest nod to international cuisine being some avocado and of course, proudly top of the list is their cooked breakfast. Sitting at a very handsome £8.95 you get this feeling that you're going to get exactly what you expect! No surprises, no unwanted items, no attempts to be different or innovative - just a proper old school cooked breakfast!
Churchills’ proper caff status is all but assured when the tea turns up in the form of 2 silver tea pots. One with the tea, the other with the all important water refill! No chance I can over brew my 2nd cup of tea, a relief and an almost forgotten ritual living in this loose leaf, middle class cafe world!......wasn't that part of a Madonna song?
They told me the sausages were gluten free, I went from regretfully running through fields of wheat to strutting and dancing like Theresa May entering the stage! Over the bloody moon! You don’t know how much you miss a sausage until they are taken away and more bacon as a substitute just doesn't cut the brown sauce! I excitedly and proudly shouted at David (the front of house guy) that I’ll have the full breakfast and ordered a little side plate of goodies for the 2 year old. Scrambled eggs, beans and sausage - a large order for a 2 year old, a sign of parental experience, knowing that some of that will also be mine! More sausage for Uncle Stevie!
Generosity is the name of the game in this joint. £8.95 for 2 sausages, 2 bacon, mushrooms, beans, roast tomato, toast and a whopping 4 eggs!!!! Even the toast comes with butter and marmalade! I’m not bonkers, I’m not going to mop up my breakfast juice with orange-y toast but I will save a slice back to eat like pudding after! I learnt that little move off my wife!
In terms of quality, you just can’t complain at this price. It’s so generous and overall the produce is decent enough and looked after well in the kitchen! The sausages and bacon weren’t the very best, but they were above the standard I would expect for an £8.95 brekkie and largely the whole breakfast was cooked nicely. One half of the tomato was considerably more cooked than the other, offering a good balance to this politically charged fry up and the mushrooms were on the over cooked side, totally forgivable and really me picking hairs. If I was choosing a side for my mushrooms to be on (which I’m not in this politically balanced opinion), it would be on the overcooked side anyway. At these sorts of prices, the margin for error with me is so big, it’s just about value and these little niggly things just don’t matter!
I am wolfing this sort of breakfast down, largely because of it’s nostalgic, comforting existence but also because at any point the 2 year old could drop a ‘poo-nami’ and this doesn't feel like the place overly equipped for those sorts of incidents! I am not sure there would be time or the notice required to head downstairs to find the baby changing facilities from the store room and based on the clientele, I am unsure they have many 2 year olds in!
Disappointingly for me, said 2 year old also wolfed down her breakfast. A fantastic display of eating! I found myself both proud and disappointed at the same time….must be the feeling of losing a local election!
David and the service team need a special mention - they were lovely and attentive throughout. They were a little overwhelmed at one point and the kitchen was just hitting a Saturday morning rush when we were leaving but they were constantly friendly, and were on very good terms with everyone - it seems like a place with lots of locals (makes sense if they are all in a club together). They made sure we had everything we needed and were very considerate towards the fact there was a 2 year old eating. Checking on having a cold plate and how cooked we wanted the scrambled eggs to make it as easy as possible for her to eat. That’s service, that’s hospitality! What I would say is that the scrambled eggs were teetering on a shade of white. Like almost glistening, absorbing colour from around them like some part of the cosmos. I could almost hear the faint northern tones of Brian Cox describing them to me. I’m unsure if they added milk or cream, maybe to make them more palatable and softer for the baba? Or whether this is just how they serve their scrambos? I am a bit of an egg purist, much to my Mum’s dismay. I just want unadulterated eggs cooked in some butter. I can’t really judge the scrambled eggs, this may have been an exception for a child’s meal and we did ask for them on the soft side, which they were, but what I can say is the fried eggs on my breakfast were as close to perfect as you would expect for the price! Maybe what I’m saying is to play it safe! Stick to the fried eggs!
Churchill’s is very much a ‘does what it says on the tin’ kind of cafe. The whole Conservative Club thing is bound to divide the crowd somewhat and you’ll find other fry ups in town that have better quality produce but they’ll also be more expensive! All in all, both breakfasts and my tea was under £18 so considering the price, it’s an amazing option for a proper start to the day regardless of your political alignment! Food has the power to change things and decent food at decent prices can easily make people put their political differences aside!
